Church

Went to church on Sunday as a family unit.  Was a bit unsure how the girls would handle a baptist church experience! They did well!!! 

From the time we hit the door until we left their hands were up giving worship waves and praise, they were clapping, and saying thank you Jesus!  They clapped to all the music that played during the musical celebration that took place 30 mins. prior to the service.

After service we visited the book store where I purchased each one a children's bible with a carrying case.  Well when we got home Helina tore off the plastic wrap and KNEW every story there was to know in the bible, she sat there telling me the stories, and I just sat in amazement.  Wow, Wow, Wow, is all I could say!  I asked her how did she know the stories and she said in ET they read everyday(they were read to) and they watched movies about Jesus, and their upstairs daddy(God).  She went on to tell me how his loves everybody, and how he is my father too. She looked through all 400plus pages in her bible, and each book until she got to the end.  I tell ya, she is amazing!!!

Now let me remind you that she did not read the words but she wld look at the pictures that represented each story and wld say I know this story, close the book as her hand layed across the pages as her book marker and began to tell me the stories, when she was done she would go to the next story, and so on until all 400 plus pages were covered.

AMAZING!!!!!!

Doro for the Soul

Doro and Injera! 

Yummy
Letting it rest in a large glass bowl
The Magic spice 

Well at one point I would buy a supply of ET food from my favorite ET restaurant and freeze it, and eat it as we went along! It was truly soulful for Helina, who enjoyed every single bite to the end, well being on a tight budget and wanting to have it more often, not to mention I love it it also, I one day searched and searched, compared and compared recipes, gathered my spices, all but one that I could not find any where by the name of Fenugreek(found in most indian grocery stores or on line) and started cooking doro wot!!!!!! To my dismay it was easy, labor intense with the onions but easy!  I have made it a total of three times thus far w/in this month, each time it gets better and better and the girls cld not be happier! 

Well this AM, more like 1 in the AM I started cooking and the girls woke to the smells of the spices and wanted it for breakfast, I mean who really wants pancakes when they can have a nice pot of Ethiopian Chicken Stew (Doro Wot)?  I am so shocked I challenged myself to make it, and so happy I have the stamp of approval from my girls. I cld not get any pics of them enjoying Momma Celeste's Doro Wot they ate it so fast!!!

Yummy!!!!!!!!! 

PS I really really modified the recipes that I found on line and the recipes that were shared with me!  I never found or ordered the Fenugreek so I make it w/o it! I don't use the red wine, I mean really, are they using that in ET? I don't make the spice butter b/c all the spices are in the food that u wld use to make the spice buter, I just put a few slices in the mix as I cook the onions down w/the olive oil, the spcies can be bitter and I am assuming from my research on the Fenugreek, it gives that dish that semi sweet flavor, so I throw in a pinch of sugar to bring out all the flavors. I stand over the stove to cook it(constantly stirring it) and only allow it to simmer w/o me watching it when I put the chicken in. I chop my onions, fresh ginger, and garlic in my food processor, which cuts down on the cook time, cook my spices with the onions after cooking onions alone for a good 5-7mins.  I dont measure....sorry, I cook by sight and taste! 

Another nice touch for texture is chicken stock! use it instead of water!

Also the key to the base of this dish are the onions the more onions the better ur base will be, I know most recipes call for two or three onions, but I have chopped four large onions for the large bowl I have pictured in this post and a hand full of garlic gloves and a nice amount of ginger!

Momma Did Not Say There Would Be Days Like This......

When I picked the girls up from ET to bring them home in February, they were both wearing a green cross on a rope cloth type necklace.  When I visited them last August they did not have them around their necks, so I just assumed that maybe the church gave them a blessing as they prepared for their forever family in the USA.

Maybe two months later I was told by Helina that their mom visited with them before I came to pick them up and gave them both their necklaces.  Prior to me finding this out, Helina and El Shaday was very very protective of this necklace and did not want to wet it in the shower, kissed it each night and when they were afraid of something they hung to it really tight.

I allowed them to continue to wear them, especially after finding out that their mom gave them both their necklaces!

A few weeks ago El Shady's came off the cloth rope necklace and we could not find it any where.  I was literally sick to my stomach, as I watched the sight of anxiety creep upon both my girl's faces'.  I helped to look for it, while asking myself over and over in my head why did I not just replace them with a different cross, so that these two wld never never never be loss?  Angry and upset with myself all at the same time, while trying to calm both of them down and telling them we would find it, but I knew finding the necklace would be a long shot b/c I had no idea if she misplaced it in the house, on the playground, in the car, at grandma's, in the grocery store, in her room!!!!!  

Well a few days later she found it!!!!!!!!!! Thank you Jesus!!!!!!!!

Not to let grass grow under my feet I went out and got two matching necklaces with a cross on both of them and had a long talk to prepare both of them on why I was removing their necklaces and putting the new necklaces around their necks.  As I explained to them they both clutched their necklace and said ok, but please mark my necklace so that El-Shaday does not think my necklace is her necklace.

We put them in their memory box and I told her when ever you want to see it, touch it or even sleep with it, I will give it to you but I would never want any thing to happen to them.  We all hugged and they said ok, thank you mom, when I get big, big, big, I want to show my mom in Ethiopia I  still have my necklace!!!!!!

My goodness these girls are much to deep for their age, but it was so wonderful to see that they were able to take our conversation and process it and tell me thats what they wanted to do once they were big, big, big!

I have a hard time holding my tears when it comes to them, and they have learned that tears can mean love, not hurt or pain all the time, so they wipe my eyes and say mommy its ok, we know you love us and we love you!!!!

I have the best two girls any one could EVER ask for, thank you Jesus.

Cld there be a runway diva among us??

hmmmm! I will keep you guys posted!

The Party!

This Sunday, we watched Dora Birthday Special, and today Helina woke up saying

Helina:  Momma! I have a big idea

Mom:  Really, whats your big idea?

Helina:  Its my baby birthday! We have to make him a cake

Mom:  A cake?

Helina:  Yes a cake

El Shaday:  Its my baby birthday too

Mom:  We were going to go to Barns and Nobles today

Helina:  Whats a Barn?

Mom: Its a place where you can look at all the wonderful books they have  and buy one or two that you make like, they have big comfy chairs, a nice area where you can sit on the carpet and read a book:

Helina:  Mom thats ok, we have enough books already, today we make cake

Mom (the suker) ok!  :)

Here are some pictures of our party!!!!!

I have to admit it was so much fun, I love watching them take boxes and square things they find around the house and set up their play area to resemble their living style/decor while they were in ET.

We never need a table, and we never need chairs, always in a round circle.

I always wanted to have a tea party/birthday party with my girls, so it was such a sweet moment for me!!!!!!! awwwwww! They even got dressed up for the event!!!!!!!!!

And yes we had to light the candles for real!!!!!!!!!  Play ET music and dance!!!!!!!! 

Who said older kid adoption was no fun!!!!!  I love it!

Why?

I am trying to figure this out with a very kind heart, why are adoptive parents always put in a situation where you are justifying your decisions, or ur are being compared to a person who carried their child for nine months and the decisions they made while raising their own children??????

I find myself being questioned a whole lot

I find myself being on the defense a whole lot

I also find myself being compared a whole lot

I also find that I am constantly reminding folks.....my girls have not even been home  for not even six months.

I try to understand it from both perspectives.......

Is it that folks are just talking w/o regard to the current situation?

Is it that folks just think I am being a bit over the top?

Is it that folks just don't get it?

I can't answer and make a fair comparison had I carried my angels for 9 months if my decisions would be the same or different when it comes to them  as oppose to only having them home for six months at the tender ages of 4 and 6.  I have nothing to compare.

I don't know!  I am trying to figure it out all out.........I do love advice, but what I don't like is the constant challenge regarding my decision making, or the looks of me being a bit extreme when I am asked questions.

Here are a few:

During the school year my girls were in the bed by 8:30 and sleep by 8:35!!!! They came pretty much on a schedule although my youngest would wake up at the crack of dawn no matter what.  I learned very early, there was no need to break the gift of them being in bed by 8:30 and sleep that I had received.  This means teeth are brushed, in and out the shower/bath tube all by 8:30.  

Well summer rolls around and I was asked by a close friend, you still make them go to bed at 8:30 w/that look on her face (the look that says hmmmm, aren't u being a bit extreme)

My answer, what difference does it make that its summer, them being on schedule keeps me on schedule, and also will keep me from having to really fight with them when school starts again.  I don't dive in my bed at 8 30, there are still things to be done, kitchen has be cleaned, I have to really pick up the mess that they thought was clean and in place, there are clothes, and things to do for the next, day, and etc.....so to keep me sane and in bed at a decent hour, you bet ur bottom dollar they are in bed every night at 8:30.  Do we occasionally fall off schedule? We sure do!!!!, but I tell ya, hands down, its not hard to get back to where they need to be.

I have decided to leave my part time job, after being there for six years  in order to keep more stability in their life, as far as dinner being served at a decent hour, homework done at a decent hour, in the bed at the 8:30 mark and so that I am home at a decent hour to spend quality time with them.  Now this is huge b/c I love my part time job!  However, the commute, construction on the main high way I use to get home every day and two girls added to the mix it is just not conducive any more.  I can't even tell you the comments I have received over this decision.  I have been asked are you sure, why can't you do both, why can't you look for a sitter for them after school, No regard to me getting  home each night at 7 30 is just bad for them and me, I get this comment.............. I did it w/my two children.......as a single parent don't understand the big deal.......here is where I remind folks that it  is just something I choose not to want for my girls, now if you did not mind coming home at 7 30, trying to cook, and get  organized for the next day w/a hour plus commute to work and from work each day that is fine, but for our family .....it just does not work any more!

Here is another one.......What do you mean you don't  feed them pork, seafood, or beef?  No, I tried beef and their bellies puffed out so bad I just felt their system was not ready for it.  Sure I eat all of the above, however, a decision by their parent was made  and that should be the end of the conversation, I have no problem with you asking my why, but don't try to convince me that I was raised on it and turned out ok!!!!!!

There are so many more I can list but I think you get the gist of what I am trying to say.....

so.......... riddle me this...........

What is wrong w/everyone and the unwanted advice?

OK let me sum it all up in one post, just in random order

Florida

the girls vacationed in Florida many of you know from my FB status!!!

it was very hot, from the heat and going  in and out of the AM, El Shaday got sick, and made all of us very sick.  But she was a trooper and wld not allow it to stop her.  We only visited a few parks they really enjoyed the water park at Sea World the best, as as far as they are concerned we cld have done that park each and every day.  This trip we did not do any disney parks, I hope to return to disney in a few yrs and do the Disney parks.  The girls did not understand the concept of vacation, but I have to tell you b/c the entire family was sick when we returned home, they both stated they never wanted to go back to Florida again!!!  

Amharic

Well outside of the amharic the girls continue to share among each other,  Helina holds onto as many customs as she can and promised that she would never forget her family and language. Well we had a chance to visit a favorite ET restaurant shortly after we returned from Florida where we know the owners who started to speak to Helina in Amharic, well Helina could not converse with her, she understood everything that she said and asked her, but could not process her answers in her native language.  She was so sad!!!!!!!!!  Helina was hard on herself and felt she let her family down in ET b/c she told them she would not forget.  I even got a bit misty eyed.  

Little Sisters

As time goes on and the girls settle into their American lives and family, they become more and more comfortable with me, and each other, and its funny to see how El Shaday is every bit of a little sister.  OMG I even feel sorry for Helina at times.  She really really knows her role in life, which is to get on her big sisters nerves w/o cease.  I jump in from time to time to give relief to poor Helina.  I mean you name every thing a little sister does, and I can tell you that they must be talking a/b my daughter.  I think this is just a peek of whats to come as they get older.  She likes to tease Helina, she likes to provoker her and then laughs when she gets upsets, she knows how to get under Helina's skin, and play the baby role so Helina can clear her room and look for items she can't find, she tells EVERY THING!!!!!!! ugggggg

Food

I cooked Doro Wot yesterday for the first time and I have to tell you the look on Helina's face was priceless.  She could not believe that I cooked the Doro, and kept telling me how good it tasted.  She was so excited that I had actually made this dish, i said hmmm, I think I can give her a little treat like this once a week or so.  It really is not that hard to make once you get all the spices, and find that crazy sounding spice that no grocery store had by the name of Feugreek(sp)

Language

Helina holds on to Amharic much more than her sister. El Shaday will tell you in a split second she only speaks English, Helina will tell you she speaks both, but some times she will tell you she does not speak English only b/c El Shaday speaks it so well.  They are funny b/c they one will start out asking the other in a question Amharic and one will answer in English

Birth Country and Family

Never went into my second meeting w/the BM or my visit to the birth place of my girls, but I have to say  my time that was spent with the BM during my 2nd trip to ET was priceless.  It has opened up a conversation with my kids that is just simply out of this world.  The stories, the laughter, the memories that they are able to share with me I would not trade for all the goal in the world!  

Bonding

I read lots of blogs regarding bonding, and have had many many conversations on the topic, I enter this conversation with an open mind and use my own experiences and thoughts on the topic as my guidance.  I never came home and thought a/b if  my girls and I were bonding.  I never really got caught up in the hype of all the readings on bonding, although I was aware of the potential problems that can occur with a child that has not or did not bond with their adoptive parent(s).  I am not naive to this topic, but some times I wanna tell folks just chill, and allow it to happen!!!!!!!!!!!!  I think we so quickly contribute every thing non-bonding on the part of the kid, and forget that they are doing every thing a kid w/in that age range would normally do.  Hands down as much as my girls love me, and their new life, if they had to pick to stay her or return to their BM, they would pick their BM, I mean wouldn't you?  I wld never look at it as not  bonding with them.  I think as long as I am protecting them, as long as I am constant in their life, as long as I show love and not look at every little thing as a form of rejection, I can say we are bonding each and every day, and each and every day the bond becomes stronger and stronger.   Its like endurance in any relationship..................the more you endure the more your bond grows, the same love you have for ur spouse 5 yrs ago is not the same love you will have in 10 years I hope the bond and attachment will be stronger and unbreakable.  I know bio kids that have no bond or attachment to their own genetic parents and vice versa.  So have I bonded and connected to my girls?  YES and each day I witness my heart opening like I never cld imagined in my wildest dreams.

Its been to long and I'm lost w/o u

OK, the new blog just was not hitting on much! I MISS my old blog!!!

I have found a way to journal for my girls, the old fashion way, pen and paper!!!!!

It was just to much to start over, didn't have the same appeal to me nor did it have the same feeling!!!!

so here I "is" I am back

There were so many things that took place over the last few wks that I wld have simply blogged abut, but didn't and I find if u don't do it while its fresh on the nugget, then you forget!

Plus I missed this old friend of a blog! It has truly been a God sent through those rough days and night.......